A lame bitch i want to be resurrected into a new world. With better environment.
In whatever i do, why does it always end up wrong? I'm not good at speeches, nor speak fluently in English spontaneously. Sometimes i feel like stitching my lips so i won't talk and get away from talking before something goes really wrong and i'll be doomed and flushed with regretness all over me.
I feel my days now are more than just depressing. I pretend to be happy when inside it's killing me, bit by bit. I want to tell my story, but no one understands. I'm just not good at expressing through mouth and i'll laugh for no apparent reason come to think about it. I gave the impression to people that i may seem like a problemless child, and i'd like to keep it that way. But i won't feel as good either way.
Honestly, i cry myself to sleep so often i have terrible eyebags. I always wished i have a proper house with a father and a mother sleeping together without fights and whatnot. I want a brother who cares and loves his sister and not snap at her rudely to just fuck off. I want friends whom i can look up to whenever in need of advice and such. And lastly, i don't want to be alone. I'm not asking much, but just these few. I have a zero social life and people often mistaken me to be an anti-social, when i talk crap all the time just to make a normal conversation. But no, my friends prefer not to talk. Is the timing to be blamed, or is it just me and my self-paranoia attitude?
Is my liking towards Harry Potter to be ashamed as well?
Fml.
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